This morning I realized I had pushed my kids too long. Too hard. For too long. With too little sleep. With too much junky food. We were a mess that ended in me throwing a binder across my hotel room (at nobody, just in frustration) and locking myself in the bathroom with my Bible and a lot of Kleenex. People have shared with me what they think my life is like by my Facebook pictures. But how do you post a picture of that? ┬áThat is the reality, though – that I lose my temper way too often. That I feel like I am a failure because when my kids are disobedient, I hear the words from the past echoing through my head, telling me lies that I don’t need to relive again. That I’ve spent too little time in the Word of God lately, which has led to too many apologies to my children. So when you look at your Facebook or Instagram feeds, think of this picture. Because this is just as much a part of my reality as what you see there….and I suspect I’m not alone.

4 Replies to “It’s more than meets the eye”

  1. Joelle…you are an awesome Mom and woman of God…you are His Beloved Child. And believe me, you probably don’t lose your temper any more than most moms…me being one them! Wait until you approach menopause ­čÖé by then, the kids may be grown and in college :).

    Take a deep breathe and know that those precious children are growing in the Lord because of the example you and Ryan are setting for them.

    You are loved!


  2. Nope. You are not alone. I just had the same experience recently. As the kids grow older, you wonder if you are doing all the right things. Then, something gets said, someone gets hurt, and you feel like you have failed everyone. The truth is, you are doing it right. You are doing it the only way, as a parent, that you know how. It took two therapists and my pastor to tell my husband and I that we are doing everything we are suppose to do before I realized that I was not a failure, and that I am not failing my family. We are succeeding. The rough patches are the obstacles we must learn from to move forward and strengthen our bond as a family. God knows you. He loves you. And, He has never left your side. ***hugs from one tearful mother to the other***

  3. Joelle — I hear you…I had a midday experience painfully similar yesterday. Pushing Nathaniel so hard on his math enrichment while Isabella was in her piano lessons. On a Wednesday Summer afternoon…he was adding joy [read: distraction] to the work, and I practically exploded. Like if the the 7yo didn’t learn his 3x facts that instant we were all somehow doomed. He looked at me crushed, and I closed the workbook, put away the flashcards and just laughed with him. And called it quits for all enrichment this week, needing a summer reset. The 3x facts will still be there on Monday…their little hearts and spirits are so much more important! You’re a good mama!

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